I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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