Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
