fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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