hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
