Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
