Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
