Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
