O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
