did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
