Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
