In the future we'll all be gay
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
i think i just lost a toe
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize