help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
