uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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