Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
