I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
