OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize