god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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