Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
