the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
