it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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