Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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