Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
