so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
