He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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