I'm laying in your front yard are you home
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
