i think i have two assholes
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
