That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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