She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
