Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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