he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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