On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
