fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
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