I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize