I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
