how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
