Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
