I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
