I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
PANTIES FOUND
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
