Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
