I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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