Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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