I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
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