Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
