Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
