I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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