I want to have your abortion
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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