o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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