I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
