Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
That accounts for only three of the penises
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
