Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
