no. you can't hotbox the world.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
