Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
