i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
