the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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