benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
