We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
