There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Randomize
