So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
