Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
