so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
