im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
