We're facebook friends in real life
I'm jealous of your bromance
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
