She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I enjoy the company of your penis
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
