I am puke
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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