I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize