Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
