Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
