yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
