either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
