All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You dont lie about slip and slides
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
