in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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