goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
