Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
