my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I need to align my fucking chakras
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
