so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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