I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
