I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize