Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
