when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize