I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize